Topic: Admitting when you're wrong, why is it so hard?
Synopsis: Do you ever get that uncomfortable feeling in your chest, your throat or shoulders, when you've made a huge mistake and automatically become defensive? Are you able to admit when you're wrong?
Welcome to the 4th episode of this season!
In this episode we discuss:
How and when we were introduced to the act of wrongness
The importance of being wrong and failing, and the ability to learn
What does it mean to be wrong? What does it say about you?
Practicing the admission of being wrong
Books and resources can be utilized as help
Cognitive Dissonance -the stress we experience when we hold two contradictory thoughts, beliefs, opinions or attitudes. That uncomfortable feeling when all that you believed about yourself, you are nice, you are smart, you are fair, comes in question by an act YOU made.
There is a rigid way of thinking that can cause many of us to stunt our evolution/growth. There is also a huge factor that we can pass down these same behaviors to your children, and it can affect our relationships in general.
We tend to justify by looking for fault in others, to avoid admitting to something we did that may be off setting. Unfortunately this also will backfire with your relationships. Think about it, if someone is constantly NOT validating that they hurt you, or they made a mistake that affected you, at some point resentment builds, communication halts, and you just start to have a strong distake for that person. Is it work that?
Power and Control. A European study, found that people who refused to apologize had more self esteem and control than those who did. These relates to power and control. If I admit my wrong doing to the other person they now are at my emotional mercy do they forgive and spare my shame, or do they hold on and make me suffer in my shame. This is pretty deep! That means we become vulnerable for a period in time.
How do you change your behavior to learn from your mistakes?
Start questioning the reason for your discomfort during a time you make a mistake
Find safe people you can talk to about it, people who you know will not judge you, so you can practice this and get good feedback
Get familiar with your defence mechanisms, you know the ones you use to justify or reframe everything? Yea so learn and recognize that pattern so when you hear yourself doing it again, STOP
People are more forgiving than your think, also show strength in your imperfectness and are willing to change and accept faults!
Lastly, find a therapist who you can work on this, there may be something very deep rooted that you need to process and release.
Related links:
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/22/smarter-living/why-its-so-hard-to-admit-youre-wrong.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-in-world/201012/how-admit-youre-wrong
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Monique: www.moniquelscott.com
Satoya: www.satoyafoster.com
QUOTE:
It is the highest form of self-respect to admit our errors and mistakes and make amends for them. To make a mistake is only an error in judgment, but to adhere to it when it is discovered shows infirmity of character.
-Dale Turner
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