At the end of the Amida we make a list of requests. We ask Hashem to guard our mouths from speaking evil, to guard our lips from speaking deceit, to help us remain silent when we are shamed by others, to help us with our humility, to open our hearts to love and fear Hashem through the study of Torah, to have a yearning to chase after the mitzvot, and to foil the plans of anyone trying to harm us. And we begin those requests with the word “?????” which is a reference to Hashem’s complete control over the world and complete control over ourselves. Before we make the requests, we need to recognize that Hashem is ????? – He gives us everything. We don’t even have capabilities to guard our mouths the way we should, we don’t have the capabilities to take shame from others or do any of the requests that we’re making on our own. If we believe we will only be able to accomplish these things with the help of Hashem, that itself triggers Hashem to give us more Heavenly help in these areas. So we should think, Elokai, I need Your help, Hashem, I can’t do anything on my own. Please, You help me hold back from speaking lashon hara. You help me not speak falsehood. And these are very powerful requests. The Vilna Gaon wrote in a letter that everybody has to go through a certain amount of affliction in life and a lot of it has to do with atonement. Some people take upon themselves extra fast days as a means of teshuva, others have different methods of atonement but, says the Gaon, the greatest self-imposed affliction that can accomplish more than all others combined is when a person holds back from speaking evil. If someone, say, has a juicy piece of gossip that they want to share with their friends, but instead, they stop themselves and give up on the good time they would have by speaking about it, that would provide atonement beyond imagination. If someone was wronged by somebody else and now they want to tell others about how evil that person is to make themselves feel better, but instead, they hold back ???? ?' – for the sake of Hashem, that would be an enormous atonement and do wonders for them. Besides for the atonement that they will receive, they’ll also be rewarded for their silence. In the words of the Vilna Gaon, “??? ??? ???? ???? ???? ???, ???? ???? ????? ???? ???? ?? ????? ?????? ???? – for each moment that a person holds himself back from saying the wrong things, he will merit spiritual delights in the Next World that even the angels cannot comprehend.” Rav Aharon from Belz quoted Rabbi Uri from Strelisk who said that if a person has a piece of lashon hara to say and it’s at the tip of his tongue, but instead of saying it he holds himself back, it’s considered like he fasted 84 fasts. And Rav Aharon continued, “I think it’s worth much more than that.” Look how kind Hashem is. When we hold ourselves back from doing wrong, He counts it as affliction and we get cleansed of all our sins and He also gives us unfathomable rewards. The next time we have an urge to say the wrong thing, let us think about the gains we can attain by holding back. If we’re sitting at a table with company and we’re contemplating talking about a certain incident which might lead to lashon hara - hold back! Take that as an easy form of yisurin and kapara, it will be well worth it. And when we say the Amida, we should honestly beg Hashem to help us in these areas, recognizing we cannot be successful without Him. B’ezrat Hashem, this attitude will help us become better people and open the door for Hashem to shower us with an abundance of blessing.
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